The Lowest Prices of All

by Malcolm Sailor

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released December 8, 2012

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Malcolm Sailor Montreal, Québec

My name is Malcolm Sailor and I’m a composer and pianist living in Montreal. You can hear some of my other projects at the links below. I’m also a piano and music theory teacher serving all ages. I can be reached at malcolm dot sailor at gmail dot com.

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Track Name: The Lowest Prices of All
I search the stores,
scour shop floors,
for low prices unbelieveable.

I haunt the halls
of all the malls
for bargains inconceivable.

But all this chaff
costs an arm-and-a-half
(that doesn't go to the sweatshop staff.)

Where can I find the lowest prices of all?
Is there something I'm missing?
Where can I find the lowest prices of all?
Oh! I know! By shoplifting!

I want a clock,
or maybe a crock-
pot or a spiffy suit.
Ending spending
with paws extending,
I'll take some terrific loot.

To buy this kitsch,
you'd need be rich,
but I've a new modus vivendi:

It's a steal of a deal,
for real - just steal!
Help yourself to something trendy.

Grabbing gear
and staying clear
of the law's my credo dear.

I have found the lowest prices of all,
I'm the acme of thrifty.
I have found the lowest prices of all,
I did it by shoplifting!

(Oo oo oo,
don't get mad,
It's just a silly song!
Oo oo oo
we know that
shoplifting is wrong!)

This song is satire
Yeah yeah

Stealing is wrong,
And,
More importantly,
It's against the law

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…