The Lowest Prices of All

by Malcolm Sailor

supported by
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $1 CAD  or more




released December 8, 2012



all rights reserved


Malcolm Sailor Montreal, Québec

My name is Malcolm Sailor and I’m a composer and pianist living in Montreal. You can hear some of my other projects at the links below. I’m also a piano and music theory teacher serving all ages. I can be reached at malcolm dot sailor at gmail dot com.

contact / help

Contact Malcolm Sailor

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: The Lowest Prices of All
I search the stores,
scour shop floors,
for low prices unbelieveable.

I haunt the halls
of all the malls
for bargains inconceivable.

But all this chaff
costs an arm-and-a-half
(that doesn't go to the sweatshop staff.)

Where can I find the lowest prices of all?
Is there something I'm missing?
Where can I find the lowest prices of all?
Oh! I know! By shoplifting!

I want a clock,
or maybe a crock-
pot or a spiffy suit.
Ending spending
with paws extending,
I'll take some terrific loot.

To buy this kitsch,
you'd need be rich,
but I've a new modus vivendi:

It's a steal of a deal,
for real - just steal!
Help yourself to something trendy.

Grabbing gear
and staying clear
of the law's my credo dear.

I have found the lowest prices of all,
I'm the acme of thrifty.
I have found the lowest prices of all,
I did it by shoplifting!

(Oo oo oo,
don't get mad,
It's just a silly song!
Oo oo oo
we know that
shoplifting is wrong!)

This song is satire
Yeah yeah

Stealing is wrong,
More importantly,
It's against the law

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…